Spreading the Word

In a recent little survey I did this week. I surveyed parents of secondary school aged children who allow their child to use the internet (without towering over their shoulder).

In just a few days I was able to reach out to just 83 parents/participants with questions LIKE this?

- How many hours does your child spend online using social media each day?

- Based on the relationship you have with your child would they or do they tell you if someone was bullying them online?

- In your opinion do you THINK that your child receives more criticism/harrasement from their online "friends" compared to their "in person" friends/schoolmates?

- Are your children aware of the risks and dangers of giving out their personal information to strangers on the internet?

- Do you think if you forbid your child from using all types of social media, it would work?

- Does your child use social media from their mobile devices? disabling you from actually knowing the amount of time they spend on social media sites?

From these questions and more on average parents BELIEVED their children were online no more than 2-3 hours a day and nearly half were certain their child would tell them if someone was bullying or creating negative drama towards them via online/social media. Also, the survey concluded that 67/83 parents thought there children were aware of the dangers and risks online, and that 58/83 thought their children would abstain from social media if they told them too.

Where I'm left wondering and where my survey could have been a little jaded was possibly the participant pool. I survey parents whom I know and asked them to pass along the link. Nearly all of these parents where under 45, and used social media themselves (info via the survey). I'm curious to know how the survey would have panned out had the participants been people from entirely different age and demographic groups as well as from parents who don't use the internet for social media purposes and are a little less informed on what it really is.

This is where I come in, I'm encouraging you moms to simply have "the talk" with your kids... not about birds & bee's but about how to limit themselves online and how to not make themselves vulnerable to cyberbullying or online predators!

Lastly - I want to wish you all a Happy Holiday Season :)

- Thanks for reading!

*Please note, all participants were given this disclaimer first:

"This survey is for the use of a Social Media Project to identify and gain information on the amounts of parents of secondary school aged children who are aware of how much and how often their children use social media and the effects and risks of cyberbullying and dangers online. If your child does NOT use social media - this survey is not for you. Thank you for participating."

The Need to Protect.

It's still building, your fear - of someone out there being mean to your child - but not on a playground or in a school lunch cafeteria, but ONLINE!! eeeeeek! sorry. I dont mean to kid, BUT - we can't always protect them from every bully can we?

Well here's a little research to make you feel a little more knowledgeable

(think it with me.. KNOWLEDGE is POWER)

According to researchers that have affiliations with the

National Institute of Child and Human Development, the idea on bullying in general is this :

"Although violence among US youth is a current major concern, bullying is infrequently addressed and no national data on the prevalence of bullying are available."

Their analysis of nearly 16 thousand secondary school children from public & private schools throughout the U.S. during the spring of 1998.

So, what they're saying is, we're concerned about it, it happens, we ignore it and we dont track it. right? - WRONG

[here's the link for the whole study they conducted -

make what you will of it.. but BE INFORMED.

http://jama.ama-assn.org/content/285/16/2094.short]

However if you look at more recent studies that show risk factors involving Cyber-bullying - it becomes apparent that in nearly 14 years, things have changed - people are beginning to worry and wonder and realize the risks are there.

Here's a GREAT explanation of how things have escaladed - (information from an article from the Children and Youth Services Review)

"Given the dramatic growth of children and adolescents‘ use of online technologies for social connections and the relative lack of knowledge about cyber bullying, a grounded theory approach was deemed most appropriate to allow participants‘ perspectives to emerge and to explore the complexity of this phenomenon"

ahh- finally it's being acknowledged.. see I told you -- there IS truth in knowledge.

The Fear.

Ok, so if you're feeling overwhelmed then your on the right track. I wont lie, I'm even a bit overwhelmed most days. I run 3 blogs as well as a few twitter accounts, a fb page for myself and two company pages.

Overwhelmed is an understatement - but it's definitely ok. I'm also sure that right now, your fear is building. In your head the terms "Cyber bullying & Solicitation" might be flashing, and the urge to unplug the computer and call At&t and shut down the internet on your 13 year old's blackberry is happening.. but take a deep breath and know..knowledge is power!

You cannot control your child's facebook account anymore than you control them. or even them having one.. unless you plan to lock them in the basement until college.. where they'll inevitably join a social network and rebel. (pick and choose your battles here)

You'll facebook me?

Ok Chances are, you've even heard your kids say they'll "facebook you later" to one of their friends. You'll who my what when? was my first thought. My freshman year of college was the first time that anyone used the term "facebook" in front of me. Prior to that, I was a Myspace junkie. Entirely naive to the world of college connections.

[if you're oblivious to what Myspace is - by all means check it out too... MYSPACE]

Because, after all that's how facebook started... college kids - some really REALLY smart college kids.. please check out the movie Social Network <-- click this :) see the whole movie, it will give you more of a thorough background than I EVER could.

Nonetheless, facebook is a whole different world outside of twitter, you create full profiles and upload albums of photos - which you're kids are doing, probably even if you've told them not too. In the facebook world, people, businesses, celebrities and groups can link one another - send each other private messages (think emails) and even "poke" their friends.. No worries, poking it just like an online game of "tag"...

But the concern with facebook is the privacy levels - who can see what & howmuch of what are they seeing when? well - my only advice here is - if you dont want your grandma to see it, DO NOT put it on facebook (or online at all even). And thats specifically what you should tell your children - that is if they fear their grandmas glares.. if not then substitute any other figure they respect..

Bottom line -- is the more you know - the easier it will be to talk to your kids about it. Without trying to look like a hipster moma who knows everything.. So please dont go create a FB account to creep on your kids - it will only make things worse. If you already have one and you take part in your own Networking, the by all means continue farmville-ing. ;)

What the Tweet?

So, you've heard the phrase, you've seen your kids entirely zoned out either staring at the phone, or computer screen relaying back to you or their friends what Ashton Kutcher just said or where Taylor Swift will be giving their next concert.. and you have to wonder what is a tweet? or twitter? or tweeple?

Twitter (according to wikipedia - so take the site as you will) is: an online social networking and microblogging service that enables its users to send and read text-based posts of up to 140 characters, known as "tweets". It was created in March 2006 by Jack Dorsey and launched that July. The service rapidly gained worldwide popularity, with over 300 million users as of 2011,^[6] generating over 300 million tweets and handling over 1.6 billion search queries per day.^[3][8][9] It has been described as "the SMS of the Internet."^[10]

a tweet = the message someone sends just a fancy nick name. Twitter is the social media site that runs the whole she-bang and "tweeple" are the PEOPLE that follow you or that you want to follow you - or that just simply exist..

still confused?... thought so! basically (here's where my educated opinion comes in - that I warned you all about), twitter is a way for people; celebrities, commonfolk, politicians, businesses and even groups, to send out little (sometimes criptic) messages to their followers - aka FANS or beings that just want to be 'in the know'. These specific messages can include a hashmark (#) infront of a word or phrase like #bieberfan and then ANYONE ELSE that's also purposely or accidentally put #bieberfan in their TWEET will then be able to click the phrase - thats right parents - just click the phrase I promise theres a hidden link there and you'll be blasted with all of those TWEETS as well.

Welcome

First of all. I want to say "welcome" aboard. Chances are, you've found this blog because you have a middle school (or above) aged child and youre feeling a little "lost" in their tech world... a world that revolves around BEING social.. and at this age your used-to-be toddler who would tell you every secret has left you in the dark.

Have no fear. Knowledge is here!

Before you continue reading - know that, all of the views and facts and opinions you find here will either be sited - or my own.. or another readers. I don't claim to be a genius on the tech world.. But as I'm not too far from the teenage world, a mom and not to far from my own child falling into the Social Media world ( I wont lie, shes 4 with a twitter feed that goes directly back to my familly.. so they can see all the quirky things she says on a daily basis - being that we live so far away). I thought I could probably give some confused and maybe a little scared parents out there some guidance and relief.. or at the very least - answers.